Scrooge: [skrudӡ]. n. a stingy person; a penny-pincher
Anyone who knows me well enough will tell you that I don’t like cartoons. They will also tell you that I don’t take anyone who watches them over the age of 12 very seriously. But- and that’s an epic but that does not mean that I’m oblivious to how simplistically cartoons tell life stories. Perhaps the ease and uncluttered approach of storytelling that can be universally appealing to a five year old and full grown men (yes, you boys in your late twenties know yourselves!) is what makes cartoons so special.
I took a lukewarm interest in cartoons in childhood and one of those that appealed to me was Disney’s Duck tales with Uncle Scrooge McDuck in the lead. Back then I wouldn’t have realized that, well; Scrooge is arguably an attractive guy. He is described as “an adventurous, resourceful, protective, sensible, clever, compassionate, loyal and hard-working”. Who doesn’t want a guy like dear Uncle Scrooge, hmmm? The catch though is that, “having worked so hard to acquire his wealth, Scrooge has become rather stingy and greedy.”
There is an unwritten rule that when two people are in a relationship, one must take on the role of a provider and the other of a nurturer. The former has always been the prerogative and primal instinct of the male species. Some assert that the role of men has been rattled over the ages because of the throttle of feminism and thus, the emancipation of women in all spheres of life.
In a recent True Love issue, NdumisoNgcobo writes that, “Expecting [men] to be simultaneously gender sensitive and chivalrous is asking for a bit too much…now you want us to feel emasculated and simultaneously open doors for you?”
I have heard stories of women who “expect” to be big bosses in the work place and in their homes, much to men’s disapproval. One high-flyer is said to have asked her husband to make tea for her business associates as they came to her house for a meeting. Chuckles.Admittedly, it’s a shame. I for one am one of those who believe that knowing one’s place is not the same as taking crap as it is dished out. It is about being a perfect complement for the other. This is applicable to both men and women.
However, I’m concerned that there is a certain kind of man who hides comfortably behind the 50/50 era to mask the fact that he has deep pockets and short arms. Ladies, this is the type of guy who takes you out to a burger joint on a first date (this is OK if you are teenagers) in his mother’s bakkie. He searches your face to see if there’s discontent (read: gold digging) and if there’s none then you have given him the ticket to continue patronising you with his cheap flattery. He is the type that frowns hysterically at seeing a B.O.B (Bring Own Bottle) request on a party invitation; the same guy who fills up his car with thirty bucks.
The point is, sure, this is confusing to men and feeling out of one’s depth ain’t so kosher either. As a matter of fact, it is also confusing for women to be faced with men who don’t want to pay for anything. To be quite honest, having a stingy man is probably as frustrating as having a woman who just doesn’t want to give it up!
Even independent women want an opportunity to politely turn a man down, and it’s not even about undermining him; it’s about acknowledging his willingness to pay her way (and playing his role). Just like every other sphere of life, relationships need to rise to the occasion, and I sure as hell know a few women who can boldly say, “I’ve got your back, boo” without intimidating a man. There are those, of course, whobelieve in taking men as their economic slaves and ATMs, which is wrong by any standard.
In my books, a snitch or scrooge orngame is a sure passion killer.There is nothing vaguely attractive about a man who always thinks that “O jewantsoma”. In addition to Uncle Scrooge’s other personality traits, a generous man is a definite fire-starter and panty-dropper. A generous man is always a keeper. Take your pick.